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| So yeah. For those of you who don't know, I've decided to abandon this blog in hopes of starting anew. The reason why I'm abandoning this and not shutting it down is because there are still a lot of wonderful memories in this account that I hold dear to myself and for my friends. Granted, they may not see me as a friend in their eyes, but that's okay. There is no reality, only perception. I also learned recently that we cannot go back and change the past, but we can take the mistakes and successes that we have learned from the past and apply it to create a better future. Knowledge is power, but applied knowledge is an even greater power. I may not be able to change the past, but I can change the future.
And so, I will conclude this last and final entry with a quote from a very special mentor of mine that I had just met:
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Ms. Cathy Ngo.
Thank you all for blessing my life with all these wonders and I hope to see you all on the other side.
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| YOUR BOY SIDE—
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[x] It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
[] Shopping is torture.
[] Sad movies stink.
[x] You own a car racing game.
[] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV.
[] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[x] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] You talk with food in your mouth.
[] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[] You have fished at least once
YOUR GIRL SIDE—
[] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner
[x] You wear the color pink.
[] You go to your mom to talk.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[] You like wearing jewelry.
[x] You cried watching The Notebook.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You don’t like the movie Star Wars.
[] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
[] You smile a lot more than you should.
[] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[] You like putting make-up on others.
[x] You like being the star of everything.
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Appearance •
[] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[] I have many scars.
[x] I tan/ burn easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I’ve had/have braces.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.
• Embarrassment •
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[x] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[x] I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• Health •
[] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] Broken a bone.
[] I’ve had my tonsils removed
[x] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
[] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I’ve had serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
• Traveling •
[x] I’ve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Cuba.
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Ottawa.
[] I’ve gone to Sudbury.
[] I’ve been to the Caribbean.
[] I’ve been to Europe.
[] I’ve been to Florida.
• Experiences •
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I’ve been to a casino.
[] I’ve been skydiving.
[] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[x] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I’ve crashed a car.
[x] I’ve been skiing.
[] I’ve been in a musical.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[] I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[] I’ve been snowboarding.
• Relationships •
[x] I’m single.
[] I’m in a relationship.
[] I’m engaged.
[] I’m married.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I’ve gotten divorce.
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• Honesty / Crime •
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out.
[x] I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve ran a red light.
[x] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[x] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.
• Death and Suicide •
[] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone / something dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
[x] I’ve planned my own suicide before.
[x] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
• Materialism •
[] I own over 5 rap CD’s.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
[] I own REAL designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collected comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie.
• Random •
[] I can sing well.
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don’t kill bugs
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[x] I care about grammar.
[] I have “?”’s in my screen name.
[] I love spam.
[x] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS...EvErY nOw AnD tHeN.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I like white chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[x] I’m good at remembering names.
[x] I’m good at remembering dates.
[x] I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All my answers were totally honest. | | |
| My vote is for Barack Obama
The simple answer is probably because he is a Democrat or because I dislike a lot of stances on the Republican Platform.
The long answer is because even though he may only have 7-8 years in the Senate, he still has a lot of transferrable experience such as his community service with certain groups of people and organizations. When you think about it, community service in the long run is supposed to build a sense of civic engagement. Studies have actually shown that those who are involved in the community are more likely to have an interest in politics because community involvement builds a sense of empowerment. Unfortunately, a lot of people do not feel that the government care for them and in return, they have chosen to disengage themselves from it. While it's totally understandable with 8 years of Bush and Clinton's affair and crap, nothing is going to change unless you do something about it. Sure, voting probably wouldn't make a difference or volunteering for a soup kitchen wouldn't make an impact on politics, but it does build a sense of social activism, which has played a heavy role in politics. I mean, it makes sense too because community involvement was what made politics in the first place. While the men in the late 1760s went to town meetings and all that stuff, the women still played a role in their community by instilling good ethical values in the children and encouraging them to be active citizens. Their goal in the end was to promote a sense of "Republican motherhood" for the women. And please note that the Republican party back in those times have no relation at all to the one that's here today.The fact that John McCain and Sarah Palin are bashing these organizations is rather bizarre because if it weren't for these community organizations, they wouldn't be here running for President and Vice President. Hell, I don't even think we'd have a democracy either.
As for Sarah Palin, I know it seems like I rag on her a lot, but it's primarily because her as a female candidate pretty much contradicts the platform of the Republican party, plus I get the feeling McCain just used her to prey on the Hillary supporters. The platform probably does include equal rights, but the fact that they're against abortion, equal pay for women, etc. does not look like something that would help women. I could probably be wrong on this one, but I noticed that Palin only has 2 years of experience as a governor of Alaska, which has a population of less than 200,000, which is not even half of San Jose's population yet no one notices. It's funny because Obama has at least 7-8ish years in the Senate and a lot of community involvement experience yet you hear so many people calling him out for it.
In general, it seems that the Republican platform is more focused on the traditional values such as preserving "life" and "marriage". I find it interesting how such a small detail could affect how someone affiliates themselves with a certain party. Unfortunately for me, I'm pro-gay marriage and I'm pro-choice and pro-life. I'm not going to explain my abortion viewpoints in this one because it's very long and complex, plus I'm sick of reiterating the debate all over again. At a more general viewpoint, a lot of the platforms seem identical, though for some reason the Democratic platform looks more credible, probably because we've tried to Republican part for 8 years and all we got was high gas prices, schools being closed down, rising college tuition/housing, lowest unemployment rate in history, declining global economy, and billions of dollars wasted trying to force a group of people into a political lifestyle that wouldn't have fit their cultures anyways. Yup. Bush did a damn good job alright :D! Yea, our economy was bad when Clinton was in office, but for an economy, that's normal. There's always going to be small dips in an economy. What Bush created wasn't a dip, but a nice massive hole.
I'll get back to this later.
edit: Actually, I'm not going to bother finishing this, since election day has passed and I really don't see the point in it. But yeah, congrats Obama!
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| I sometimes wonder whether I should wake up early every day, because I know that when if I do wake up at all, he still won't be there. Just another empty side lying next to me.
I sometimes wonder whether I should still go outside every day, because I know that even if I do, everyone will just walk away from me. Just another desert town where I am the only population.
As a river of anxiety attacks flood into my cavity, I feel something dreadfully frightening. It's as if the Civil War is taking place inside of my heart and the gunshots resonate all over my nerves until there is no energy left to quake. It is fear of the unknown. A terrifying dread for change. Bad change, that is.
The river now flows at the top of my heart, slowly drowning me from within, taking away every last breath that is still contained in my body. I gasp for air. It has now flooded into my throat. I still gag just to keep myself up, despite the undying urge to throw it up. I could purge every single calorie and ounce of blood outside my body that I want to, but it still won't be enough to purge out the anxiety in my cavity.
I reflect back on the times where it looked like my city had everything. It had love, acceptance, companionship, everything that had no monetary value worldwide, but everything that people wanted and would pay all the money in the world for. I had all the riches in the world at one time, but without acceptance, it was meaningless. A black and white emotionless town. Love was what paved my city in the finest gold stairs and the most glamorous diamond pavements ever known to man. Love was what colored the skies with a vibrant blue shade and gave the clouds a soft, puffy shape. Love cleansed the air of all pollutants. Love preserved the vibrant Beverly Hills community known as life and gave it significance.
Until...
One day, the love slowly escaped. Eventually, the silver lining all over the streets began to rust, as the city slowly became more and more shattered. Buildings looked more deceased. A ghost town. Nothing more than a mere ghetto of what once was, paved with blood spatters and gum. Filled with the darkest smog full of pollution that not even a mouse could survive. Even while the river still trys to devour my insides, I still keep writing this piece of prose all the way, or poem, or song, or whatever nigga shit you want to call this. It's strange. Once I start writing this prose, the tide of the river slowly drops, going from the top of my throat back down to the top of my heart, and still lowering. The churning of the stomach subsiding after the explosion of the atomic bomb that once mutated the land of the rising sun.
Maybe it doesn't really matter if I am left in a desert town. Either way, I am left with a ghost town to polish and one day, it will shine with brilliance like it used to. All it needs is that special person to color the world.
Some people can call this a faggy emo prose just for attention.
Some people may call it a failed attempt at freestyling. But at the end
of the day, it's all perception. Perhaps to some, the city was still a
corrupt, evil place to live in, even at it's prettiest pavements. Maybe
the city was always beautiful to begin with, even at it's most
dangerous ghetto. The only thing for sure is that there was a city that
impacted everyone's lives.
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| Actually it does, as much as we don't want to believe it. With the economy the way it is, people are getting laid off here and there, a bunch of businesses are closing, the job market is increasingly competitive. More and more people are graduating high school, attending college, and even graduate school than they have before in the past.
I happen to know someone who works in HR as well as a few other hiring managers who have came to my college campus before. Some of the career counselors on campus have also worked as HR for certain companies before coming to SJSU. These people get over 200 applications every single day. Usually their company may only have a few jobs open for filling and they want the best candidates for the job, but when you have almost over 200+ candidates with the same or similar qualifications, it's very difficult, which is why HR may conduct phone screenings, background checks, etc. to weed out some of these candidates. Most of the time, they will be interviewing more people for the job than the number of people needed to fill the job.
This tactic may also help if a company performs on-the-spot interviews or at a job fair. They see a lot of people and they do what they can to pick the person who looks like they would fit in the company culture. One thing that no hiring manager wants to do is to hire someone only to have the co-workers groan in disgust and ask "BAWWWWW!!!! Why did you hire this person? WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!". Besides, it's just as hard for a hiring manager to find a candidate as it is for someone to job-hunt.
Though I must say, I don't understand what looks has to do with someone's ability to do the job. How does it affect their performance? I can see it happening in a position such as an anchorman/anchorwoman, waitering, customer service reps, politicians, salespeople, performers, etc. because these positions require a lot of human interactions. In order for any type of business to make sales, they need to present themselves professionally and enthusiastically in order to draw people towards their products. It's pretty much common knowledge that people are drawn to aesthetically pleasing things. It's rather unfair, but it happens. I think that as long as you keep a good hygiene(shower, brush your teeth, clean-shaven, and use deodorant) and take care of yourself physically, it shouldn't be a problem whether you work in engineering or service or whatnot. All employees need to take care of themselves so that it doesn't become a problem for their co-workers, but they may not necessarily have to be beautiful, even if it gives you a slight edge in both the entertainment and service industries.
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